You do not understand the architecture of really high loads.
It doesn’t matter what software you use on the server. For example, using PHP, you can squeeze a productivity of 1000 users, using a node - 2000 users, using an assembler - 3000.
So the hayload is not about the fact that you need to urgently switch to assembler, but about the fact that any stack of technologies used is guaranteed to shut up on millions of users (large social networks, search engine sites).
Therefore, they start architecturally devising techniques for how to set up hundred servers, so that they are enough to handle the load.
There are many ways (heard for example such a word as "sharding"?), The architecture can be applied to both the node and PHP.
Choosing a stack is done at the start of a project, often for historical reasons. Say, some c # programmers gathered together - and began writing stackoverflow on .net, and Zuckerberg came up with the idea of writing a facebook - chose PHP because he knew how or seemed simpler. What they knew how - on that and start.
A sharp stack change in the middle of a project, when you have hundreds of servers and dozens of programmers who know this stack, is a rare and insane thing. Well, you earn twenty servers - on a hundred servers it can be a savings on matches, compared to the fact that you need to fire all programmers, hire new ones and all this without downtime. Business will not approve.
There is nothing more to say about this. He is very vague and difficult to give an objective answer.